Joseph Jarrett

Okay, look, I know this sounds like such a Corporate America topic of conversation. And truth be told, I did learn this question from a job interview. I think it is something that can be relatable in any sense, though. It does not only relate to KPIs and dollar signs.

            When I started writing Mishaps & Mistakes, I really did not think it would be anything more than a one and done event. I truly thought I’d get everything out of my system and go away. Clearly, that did not happen. In fact, something incredible happened after the book was released that changed my mindset entirely.

            Going into it, I never expected to be a New York Times Bestseller. I did not expect overnight fame. It felt amazing when Mishaps & Mistakes reached Number 19 in the LGBTQ+ Memoir category. I genuinely was shocked to see that. I went into this with two main goals. The first goal was to speak my truth. Lay everything out so I can get the closure I need from certain affairs and events. And I got that. But there was something else I really needed to happen. I needed to know that someone benefited from my story.

            I felt that this second goal was near impossible to achieve. I’m a self-published author. I do not have big marketing plans or a huge social media following. In fact, my author Instagram has a significantly smaller following than my personal account. Everyone who was going to read my book would already be someone in my circle, someone who probably knew my story already. That did not matter, though.

            About two months after I released my book, I got a message over social media from a close friend I had not seen or really talked to since high school. She’s actually featured in the book. If you recall, in Chapter One, “The Beginning,” I tried to use my friend Bianca as a cover-up for my sexuality in middle school. It was her. She’s the one who messaged me. Bianca began to tell me her thoughts on the book, and I never could have guessed what was coming my way. Her words were so complimentary and beautiful, but she was also vulnerable and personable with me. She told me about her cousin, a young gay man himself, who passed away before he even got a true chance to live his life. Bianca told me that if her cousin were still here, my book might have saved his life. Never in my life had I experienced the emotions I had at that moment. Bianca helped me reach my goal.

            My heart was broken for her and her family, but it solidified for me that I did the right thing by publishing my story. I could never thank her enough for her words. I thought that was where I would peak with my success. Little did I know it was only the beginning. I learned that my success was found in continuing the process. I needed to grow as a person, and I needed to keep sharing those stories with the world.

            While I was not an overnight sensation, it was not my “Espresso” moment like what Sabrina Carpenter experienced after years of trying. I still became something. And that was successful for me. Success does not have a single definition, and it should not. It deserves to be limitless. So, what do you think success is for you? Let me know sometime.

And you know I always have to link my pop girls in my posts. You guys already know this song, but it’s a hit for a reason.