Joseph Jarrett

I used to imagine I’d have everything figured out by 25. I’d be married, have a kid or two, work a job that I loved and made lots of money doing. Now, here I am, almost halfway to being 27, very single, childless, and working a job that I cannot afford to live off of. Crazy how different things can be in reality versus your dreams. But there’s an external factor that causes such a wild increase in my anxiety and insecurity about where I am in life. This factor is one that the vast majority of people my age deal with: social media.

            It seems that every single time I open Instagram, TikTok, or some other platform, every person I’ve ever encountered in life is “beating” me to the milestones. The sheer amount of engagement, wedding, first child, and first-time homeowner posts I have seen in the last two years is astronomical. You know what my personal social media consists of? Fun nights I’ve had with family and friends, my self-published book about being a mess, and memes I laughed at for an inappropriate amount of time.

            Now, don’t get me wrong, when I tell my friends that I am excited for them and their accomplishments, I genuinely mean it. But I am EXHAUSTED having to celebrate everyone else around the clock, yet no one returns the favor to the lower-standard friends like me. It’s disheartening that people expect everyone in their circle to make a fuss about what they do, especially if they do it with a romantic partner, but they couldn’t care less about what I have done this month that felt like a milestone. I don’t want it to sound like a blanket statement because there are always exceptions. I have a solid group of people who make me feel like a rockstar anytime I do something big by my terms. I love and appreciate those people with my whole heart.

            It has become blatantly obvious over the last ten years or so that social media is now supposed to be a highlight reel. You shouldn’t be able to see the full story of someone’s life; you’re only supposed to see the good, great, and amazing. Well, fuck that. Social media was intended to connect people with real material, but the plot has been fully lost. I honestly doubt it’ll ever change either. The rest of the world doesn’t have to agree with me, but I’m going to do my own thing regardless. I want people to feel like they get the most authentic and real material whenever they see my name online. They shouldn’t just get my few celebration-worthy updates; they should get the full scoop. Kinda like what I’ve done here with this blog.

            I could harp all day on the negative aspects of social media, but that’s not the goal. My main goal here is to explain why it has seemingly destroyed my personal image of success. Why do I need to be dressed to the nines every single time I leave home, just in case someone wants to post me on something? Why am I so hyper-fixated on making sure my like counts increase with every post? Does it really make a difference if my double chin is more prevalent in one photo over another? The list goes on, and on, and on, and on. I feel like Miley Cyrus’ song “Jaded” in this situation. But instead of a love-scorned breakup, it is my feud with my social media timeline.

            I have a lot of days where it’s hard to imagine myself getting engaged, let alone married. I feel like I have had days where I mourn the possibility of ever having my own kids because of that. What if a tiny apartment is all I ever amount to, home-wise? Maybe I am just being too negative with my outlook, but this is what I genuinely say in my head when I see a string of “mission success” posts back to back.

            What do you think? Has social media ruined the way we view our accomplishments and what we have planned? Would life be better if only we celebrated what was actually necessary to celebrate and NOT post about it? The discourse could go on for a long time, but it’s one I am always open to listening to and talking out! Let me know, friends!