Joseph Jarrett

A Deep Dive into Modern Intimacy and Dating

I feel like I could be writing my dissertation for a PHD in Failed Romance right now. There is no one more qualified in this subject area than I. While I understand that I am not perfect, I have a strong inclination that the majority of single young adults will agree with me that dating fucking sucks nowadays. You can get ghosted by your internet boyfriend after two weeks, hope one of your friends is actually setting you up on a blind date with someone cool, or wallow in self-pity and accept your role as a spinster. The choice is all yours, and what great options you have to pick from.

            While I love modern society, I crave a less modern version of it. I yearn for what dating must have been like in the 90s and early 2000s. I wish I had lived my young adult years in an era where people could carry out actual conversations, fearlessly walk up to someone in a bar or coffee shop, and it wasn’t inconvenient to casually talk on the phone. All I get now are unsolicited dick pics and TikTok edits. What joy those bring me.

            I am an intense hopeless romantic. Rom-coms have always been my favorite kind of movie.        I cry at least three times at every wedding I attend, and I’m jealous when people get flowers instead of me. I would love just one time to get flowers from a man. I might cry if it ever actually happens because it is that serious. Extra points to him if he gets me tulips. With a mindset like this, you can only imagine how discouraging dating is now.

            While starting a relationship requires the early small talk that eventually leads to real conversations, I do not think I can handle telling one more man that my favorite color is blue. I have considered making a small book listing out all the basics about me and putting it up for sale on Amazon. If you want to date me, buy the twenty-page book, read it three times, and then message me.

            Besides the lack of great options out there, I also believe that I never fully recovered from the sheer amount of hurt men have put me through historically. Gabe, I’m especially looking at you. For a long time after our time together, I held onto a deep sadness in my heart. I wanted to shove away the idea of love. I never wanted to go through that pain again. Unfortunately for me, my brain is not wired that way. I fear I will always be hopelessly wondering when I’ll fall in love finally. I can’t base every other man I’ll ever meet against Gabe. Our situationship matches the vibes of “Ceilings” by Lizzy McAlpine. It was never real, despite how intense I felt it was. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ll never know.

            I guess what I battle with now is trying to decide if someone is worth my time, or if they will suddenly stop talking to me right when we get into the thick of it. If you haven’t figured it out, I’ve lived a lot of lives so far. It’s emotionally exhausting trying to fill people in on the lore of my life every time we start to talk. It is already a struggle to decide what’s appropriate and what is not. Now factor in doing it every single time a guy comes into the picture. I’ve cried so much these last few years, wondering why it’s so hard to get to know people. I really don’t think anyone can explain this phenomenon. The world is full of hurt people who don’t know what to do with that hurt. It’s a living nightmare. The worst part, though, is that we hold onto bits and pieces of everyone we let in. The things they teach us don’t just fizzle away as the feelings do. The association is held together by Super Glue. Alexa, play “Massachusetts” by Jensen McRae.

            So, are you single and exhausted with modern dating? Do you find it exciting and entertaining, or do you see it as a chore? Everyone has a completely unique and individual experience with dating, so the discourse can be golden. Tell me about your most gut-wrenching situationship for a change!